Why were our parents and grandparents happier than we are?

At times, when I let my wondering mind wander about, it showcases its ultimate capacities of going to the extremes of weirdness. I know that it’s the same with all of us. It can ponder on the most trifle thing on earth to the as mighty subject as black holes in the cosmos.

One day I was in my maternal uncle’s place to see my old grandma and grandpa. and after meeting them, I thought of our parents and grandparents and their lives and experiences. And my mind drew a certain conclusion: Our time is tough. Tougher than our parents’, even when they might have endured more hardships than we are enduring.

This comparison is not of outwardly things, but of inner turmoils…Of deciding and choosing between the two or among many. Because we have options in everything that we do.  We have options in what we want to become, we are aware of our own capacity of carving our own destiny.

On the contrary, our parents had fewer options or no options at all. They didn’t have to face their inner demons as life was simple. It was just about choosing between the blacks and the whites. A high-value system was inherited as a part of the culture and the way of living…To make living simple and worthy of the community. Making personal sacrifices for the loved ones was a spontaneous process for them. But it’s not so for us.

How and when did we become so self-centered? Even we face the Ravana inside us on a daily basis...

Paromita's freedom of expression

…more choices, more confusion?

 Is this because we have many options and have identified tremendous potentials within us and in this world supported by technology and money? Is the impact of globalization and cultural exchanges is a rotten value system? Our generation is that of half-baked, half-boiled, half-mixed, half of everything that we should be and rest of the half is decided by the time we are in. Our time is in turmoil. Turmoil in everything, everywhere, within, outside.

  It’s never easy in such situations to choose one path and drop the other. As the human has reached the highest of their intelligence, we need solid reasons and logic to back up every decision, lest it becomes difficult to face the fool in the mirror every day. We need even solid justifications to cover up for our weaknesses….Weaknesses, the wrong choices that we made, the values we deviated from…when we became too self-centered, selfish…when we did according to our conscience but got slapped in return, confusing us farther. All pile up as heavy burdens on our soul…Soul, whatever we understand by ‘soul’ when we refer to it…Like in ‘confused soul’, ‘wretched soul’ etc.

When our parents try to understand us…They fail initially…And when they finally do, they feel sad for us… Thinking why do we complicate our lives unnecessarily.

Although I tried to find reasons, as mentioned above…still I wonder….Why was it so simple for them? Why is it so difficult for us? To live simple? We have more amenities and comforts than what our parents had, we found more opportunities than they did, to ‘enjoy’ life. Even then, why are we not as happy as our parents, if not more?

Pranam. 🙂

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Mind, the monkey we carry along…

The mind is like a monkey. Always restless. We, the humans, have a belief that we think, so we are. The ability to think has made evolution possible for the mankind. Hundred years of researches and probability theories, intelligent minds have been trying to track down the most logical history of human evolution on earth. Yet, the missing link remains missing as we welcome the 21st century.

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Mind, the monkey we carry along…

I always have wondered, had the theory of evolution been true, why would we need clothes to adjust our body temperature to that of the earth? No other animal needs to grow extra fur during the winter and shed some in summer! I have series of such questions, at times sound weird but logical questions…Who taught our ancestor monkeys to think and act according to their thoughts? Chimps also can think and act, but why there was no evolution for them, they still continue to be hairy and living without a vocal language.  How come we trust the theory of evolution when 99.999 percent of earth’s one trillion microbial species remain undiscovered. After all, according to the theory, it started from one-celled microbes only!

Ignorance is bliss. But, we never did settle down with that, even after knowing that it’ was a bliss. Whereas other lives on this earth are happily ignorant, only minding their survival business. Human lives, start ignorant and happy….grow up to knowledgeable and unhappy…and the ultimate aim of life remains: to be happy. Surveys have confirmed that intelligent people are unhappy people. That sounds so unfair! Is that a sin to be able to use the intellect? Thinking people are sad people. Yet, we think.

Why?

That’s very nature of human mind. It’s in continuous relentless action, making us dance on its tune. Mind matters because we bow down to it and it plays with us. This moment we are ecstatic, next moment are furious. This moment we are in confident, next moment, we are regretting. This moment we are joyfully involved, next moment, we are stoic. Why are we being ruled by the mind? Why do we suffer? According to a survey, depression is the second-leading cause of disability, with around 4 percent of the world’s population diagnosed with it. Let’s not discuss schizophrenia, anxiety, and other bipolar disorders.

And, we take our thoughts so seriously, giving it the entire control of our existence.

There’s no denying of the fact that mind is powerful. Perhaps, the most powerful thing a human can have. But as responsibility comes with power, one has to know how to rule the mind and NOT being ruled by it.  This is the teaching we need right now.

The mind is a formless energy. We can shape it the way we want to. That’s the reality which we needed to know, but is never revealed to us or never taught by anyone. Thanks to this time, when science means only technology and we draw satisfaction from the number of gadgets we own.

Thousands of years ago, science meant understanding the various forms of energies and synchronizing those energies to attain the highest possibilities of the cosmos– from this human form. One such scientific institution was the institution of Yog.(Yoga (/ˈjɡə/Sanskrit, योग).

Yoga is a path which takes one towards an experiential reality of the ultimate nature of the existence. As it is experiential, there’s no distortion, no manipulation, no influence, no conflict in the experience of the ultimate reality.

Through yogic practices, one understands that our mind is a powerful tool, and we can use it to reach our goals in life. Just by breathing properly, we can calm the monkey down and then gain control over it. Refer to the video link below, a simple technique offered by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudeva: Isha Kriya

Pranam. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s breathe…

The invisible shell, made of self-assurance and self-confidence and general goodwill,  always protects in our day to day life. On some days, that protective shell gets shattered. We become susceptible to pain, gullible to all negative emotions. Whatever may be the reason for that vulnerable condition, at times we become vulnerable, and it’s a fact. The pain is more than we know we can manage.  We get buried under the great burden of agony…gradually slipping in darkness …not knowing what to do to get back to light.

What do we do on such days?

It feels impossible to actually live in moments when everything around appears to be distressful and abominable. And lies ahead continuous avalanches of faith, dreams, hopes, wishes, and everything good about life. …we stand there desperately looking for a way out…

What to do on such moments?

We don’t know…we might cry and scream ourselves out to the level of self-exhaustion and extortion. Does it help? Yes, it does…gives a momentary relief, because we lose consciousness or stop feeling anything. Is this what we want? Is this how one should be? Living without feeling anything?

No.

Then what?

There’s a simple way. Just look at the life within. Respect it.

How?

Breathe. Yes, you already are breathing. That I too am. But this time, breathe consciously. Pay attention while you inhale and exhale.  Be attentive to the process of breathing and make it a habit. Make the habit of breathing a conscious one. Acknowledge that breathing is the most important action that is happening to you and to your life. Breathing is you and breathing is this life.

breatheKeep on breathing consciously. The logical mind will not challenge by asking, “Why should I breathe?” Because it knows, you are, because you breathe.

So, breathe without a doubt in your mind and in your heart. Breathe because you must.

Breathe softly, breathe consciously.

And slowly, this breathing will lead you back to light from darkness.

There are plenty of information available to us to tell us how conscious breathing helps. I will not repeat those. I am just reminding you and me. Let’s breathe consciously, and as softly as we can.

Pranam. 🙂

 

Thoughts on women and the social system

The social system in the post-vedic era, as far as I understand, was based on the Manu Sanhita, which layed the foundation of our modern society. As far as my understanding goes, Manu was no less sharp and visionary than Chanakya…Barring the fact that Chanakya’s intelligence was based on human’s natural characteristics and instincts…And he was a true nationalist at heart and welfare for all was his ultimate intention. 
Whereas, if I consider what Manu had on his mind for the women folks was really unfair… because he kept property, cattle, and females in almost  same category. He designed his system keeping men as the center of everything that is good and all growth-related aspects of life, including education, finance, politics, cultural, art, music, spiritual…revolved around the men folk only.  Whereas the women were just an instrumental to the overall development of men, only to be used as a fertilizer for the growth of the tree.  That’s the only role she has to play, as a supporting role to the main character. She doesn’t, rather shouldn’t have anything to do with her own growth, whatever that might be. 

www.suchitraarts.com

Painting by Kumaraswamy B

As a reward, she gets the position of being addressed as the ‘devi’, who can sacrifice her own self for the sake of the men in her life. But the irony is that the act of making sacrifices  is not by choice. It’s by rule, by custom, and as if, by default! 
The women in the family have to earn love and respect by dint of their ability to sacrifice and to serve. Whereas, the men demand love and respect for they are biologically males and so, by design they are supposed to receive so. Being responsible, caring, faithful, and trustworthy are secondary ‘good to have’ qualities. Women are supposed to accept and love their men as they are.  For women, it’s a lifelong ordeal, constantly proving themselves in different roles…Proving themselves here means serving as long as they can. 
Even after practising the equal rights in our country and women proving their capabilities in almost all realms, the undercurrent of the social system is these same old fundamentals, set by Manu. Till now, no women in this country ever can make an honest statement that she never faced any instance of gender bias or never had to accept unfair deals in her life only because she was a woman.
I suppose, this phenomenon is common across generations, social status, educational qualifications, beyond borders, and across  nations. 

The question is, why it has to be like that? Is it so necessary?
Do not refer to those strong women who made it big and had set awesome examples for the possibilities and capabilities in women. We know it already that we have, if not more, equal and all humanely possibilities as men. Let’s discuss the lives of those extraordinarily successful women, who made history and inspired generations to come, for the adversities and unfair situations they had faced throughout their lives, in personal, social, and professional spheres, just because they were women by birth.

Heart of the Feminine

Robyn Ressom Art

From a psychological point of view, if men laugh at us saying women are their own enemies, jealous to the core to the other…I say that this jealousy is a type of strong competition, which is stemming out of a deep sense of prolonged injustice and insecurities, plus the need (not want), of keeping control or holding power over the men in their life. 

If women are given respect as equals and accepted for what they are, when there will be no need to use the men for their own requirements, there will never be ugly jealousy and unhealthy competition between women in the same family. 

If men laugh at us or retort saying women use their sexuality or their physical beauty to get things done, what if I say that most men understand that language only? Men hardly look at women beyond their physical beauty, virtues and qualities become secondary or not considered at all, depending on how they have been raised. Krishna in the Geeta said that one should use shaam, daam, dand, bhed, or whatever it takes…And it includes Vishnu’s taking up the form of a lusty damsel to lure the Asuras to rescue the amrita bhanda from them. Women too have the right to get things done and talk in a language the person in concern understands. 

Do I sound feminist? If it makes me sound as a men-hater, let me strike out the notion. No, I am not. I just am pointing out the bleak areas, when the society has been unfair to women, where the system has gone wrong, where the men forgot to appreciate the biological difference and accept women as they are, with all their strengths and weaknesses, without setting any rule or role play for them to follow without questioning, and suppressing their inner calls. When men took the women for granted for all the supports to fulfill their dreams, their karma and their dharma, their inner calls…Out of love or for sheer call of duty as wives…That never mattered so far. It is, as if, by default, women are born for this purpose — to be useful to men. The women should or cannot expect any support, any participation from the men, when the dreams, the inner calls, the dharma or karma (did our social rule suggestion books ever stated of any dharma or karma for women beyond the boundaries of the family? I doubt.) are those of the women. Then it becomes their lone struggle and a fight against the entire society starting from her own home and the injected guilt inside her. 
Why it has to be like that? Is it really so necessary to keep a so-called balance in the society? Where did it bring any balance anyway?

Do you vouch of any balance when new concepts like ‘marital rape’ are a legal controversy, and a man can even rape a woman apart from his uncontrollable sexual desire, just to remind her that she is a  ‘woman’ first and a human later? 
The balance we see in the society is not an outcome of the prelevent system. But this balance is dangerously resting on a dwindling thread, which entirely depends on the women’s ability or decision to remain submissive, oppressed,  accepting the unfair deals owing to the fact that they are naturally and fundamentally made of love and other virtues including altruism and last but no the least, their ability to forgive.  Sadly, all of these are taken for granted, till the time they stand up for themselves and earn the label of a badass for themselves. 

Let’s see, as long as we are alive…How far men and women are going to take it like this, for how long and at what cost. 

Is that a sign?


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Life is a great teacher.  It is determined to teach you what you are not.

If you are fast, it will try to teach you how to be slow.

If you are a cry baby, it will keep on putting you into such situations until you stop blaming and take responsibility for the situation.

If you are a careless or carefree person, it will teach you responsibility.

And so on…The process has no time limit. And life never gives up on you.

Today, when I reached my office, I turned the page of the table-top calendar to see the message it has for me for my birthday.
And I was disappointed by the note. What an uncanny message for a day! “…sit patiently in their room for one or two weeks!”
On a second thought, I understood that it was asking me to be patient.
Life has been trying so hard to teach me the lessons of being patient. A restless soul I am…always on the go, trying to reach somewhere, or in search of something I do not know. 
My husband has been looking for the “pause” button in me, asking me to be patient and learn to wait for the right time. Whereas, I thought that he really needed to fill his fuel tank and buckle up! Opposites, eh! Over the years, it seems that we have been learning to exchange the attributes so that we function better than yesterday in our lives. This is a normal evolution process every person goes through. With age, I hope to learn to pause when I want.
The process of learning or evolving is never easy. Especially for a person like me. Stubborn. Impatient. One angry woman. (My poor hubby, thank you so much for tolerating me over the years! I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in this life.)
So, I err. I err more than other balanced people around me. Life is trying hard to make me sit back, watch in silence, and breathe.

I am not afraid of the acid tests of life.

…but in the end, let the nectar of love be there at the core of me as a never-ending source of life and hope for the people in my life and around me.

That’s the only honest wish comes out from me, for me.
Let’s hope for a Tathastu from life and the energies of the cosmos.

মানুষ, তোমার হুশ কৈ?

Bee-Movie-a-world-without-bees

A world without bees…

সবুজ ছেঁটে কংক্রিটের  জঙ্গলে তুমি
প্লাস্টিকের বাগান সাজাও,
আমি জানি তোমার ম্যানেকুইন রুচিতে
ওই মৌচাকটা  দৃষ্টিকটু।
দলছুট হবার আগে বলে গেছে মক্ষীরানী
“তোরা বহিরাগত! তোরা আক্রমণকারী”
…তুমি শুনতে পাবে কি?
কানে তোমার প্লাষ্টিক তার বয়ে যান্ত্রিক সুর!
তুমি আচ্ছন্ন হয়ে আছো, টেকনোলজির কামড়ে।
তোমার প্রাণভ্রমর ওই এন্ড্রয়েড ফোন,
মুছে  দিতে চাইছে মৌমাছিদের অস্তিত্ব।
জানো? ওরা না থাকলে আমরাও একদিন মুছে যাবো?
জ্ঞানপাপী তুমি। দায়িত্বহীন স্বাধীনতা চাও,
অবগ্যা শুধু,  নিজের বাইরে সবকিছুকে।
প্রকৃতি বিমুখ তুমি,নিজের মধ্যে ব্যস্ত।
… নিজেকে ভুলে!